Let me tell you about the worst case scenario. That thing that you are avoiding. Running from. Trying to numb away.
The worst that can happen to you is not an event.
I know you’ve spent your entire life believing that, but it’s a lie.
The worst that can happen is a feeling.
I want you to really sit with this for a moment and understand it.
The things that you are trying to avoid are your emotions. And in so doing, you are squelching the very thing that makes us human.
Perhaps we should just burn the damn suitcase, but I’m choosing to unpack it instead. That’s really what you need. You just won’t acknowledge that.
Think about it for a moment.
What is it that you truly believe that you don’t want to feel? Loneliness, isolation, sadness, despair, shame, fear, regret? All of the above?
What if I told you that if you just allow those feelings in, they won’t even stay around that long? But if you keep avoiding them, they will continue to resurface. Over and over again. Which scenario would you choose knowing that you have that option?
Through some very hard lessons of my own, I have learned that selective numbing is completely ineffective. Attempting to numb away the bad feelings is a momentary comfort indeed. But we weren’t created for this. There is a purpose behind every feeling, no matter how terrible it is, and we need to allow them. All of them.
Because without despair, there is no elation. It simply cannot exist.
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Without loneliness, there is no fulfillment.
Without shame, pride cannot be.
And no, pride is not sinful! Think about how good it feels when you have accomplished something that was difficult. There is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling proud of yourself.
We label our emotions as good or bad. And we never want to feel bad. Of course we don’t. Unfortunately, that’s how life works.
We think that we are entitled to only feel the good feelings. Yet we are not.
There is a concept within life coaching that we refer to as 50/50. You will only feel the good feelings about half of the time. The rest of the time, you are going to feel the terrible ones.
You will feel pain, vulnerability, and shame.
You will feel broken, sad, and unworthy.
None of those feelings make you less than anyone else.
All of those feelings make you the perfectly imperfect human that you are.
And in any scenario, the worst that can happen is that you will experience a negative emotion.
Everything that you try to avoid comes down to how you think it’s going to make you feel.
Take public speaking, for example. The thought of getting up and speaking in front of hundreds, even thousands, of people sends many of spinning into a place of negative thought.
What if I screw up (whatever that means)? What if I forget my lines? What if I trip and fall flat on my face as I’m walking to my place?
Yes, what if?
Any of those options are merely circumstances that mean nothing at all until you have a thought about it. Trust me, you will not die from a momentary episode of embarrassment or humiliation. Depending on how hard or far you trip and fall, you may not even experience a bruise beyond your ego.
You. Will. Live.
Your worst case scenario is always just a negative emotion.
Now that you know this, how deeply are you willing to experience this life of yours?
Would you like to be coached on this or another area of your life? Book a free consultation with me here.